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Vale Steven Williams (Mar. 17, 1986 - June 4, 2010)
This morning I listened to a voice message from my friend David Allen. Apparently he'd been trying to get in touch with me for a couple of days because he had some really important information that he wanted to give me in person. My friend, Steven Williams, killed himself a couple of days prior. David told me that his mother had asked that I be told, mainly because I visited him in hospital after his previous attempt.
More than anything else? I'm angry at the world right now. I'm angry that a good friend of mine, a friend that I had always enjoyed the company of, and of whom I had good memories of, is now gone, forever. I'm angry that, whatever help he was getting, what supports he'd gotten in place since the last attempt, clearly hadn't helped. I'm angry that I'd thought he was recovering, when he hadn't. I'm angry more than anything else because yet again the world has taken someone I loved away from me, and it's so fucking unfair.
I want to sit down and remember the good times. I want to do that poignant post where I sit down and remember all the good memories and impressions I had of the man, but right now I can't get past the fact that I'm going have to attend my second funeral in as many months, that I liked Steven and that he was one of my favourite people in Korner and now he's gone, that I will never know why he's gone, if there was anything that triggered it, if there was anything I could have done if I'd have known at all, and it's all just goddamn fucking unfair.
To be fair, I've only known about this for about 4 hours. I'm still working through my feelings about this. I feel a bit useless because I'm coming to this late, and still don't actually have all the details. I plan to call people later on tonight, so I can get more details, find out what's going on, if the funeral has been planned, etc.
For the time-being there's not a lot I can do except try and work through the grief, and that's what this post is kinda for, I guess.
More than anything else? I'm angry at the world right now. I'm angry that a good friend of mine, a friend that I had always enjoyed the company of, and of whom I had good memories of, is now gone, forever. I'm angry that, whatever help he was getting, what supports he'd gotten in place since the last attempt, clearly hadn't helped. I'm angry that I'd thought he was recovering, when he hadn't. I'm angry more than anything else because yet again the world has taken someone I loved away from me, and it's so fucking unfair.
I want to sit down and remember the good times. I want to do that poignant post where I sit down and remember all the good memories and impressions I had of the man, but right now I can't get past the fact that I'm going have to attend my second funeral in as many months, that I liked Steven and that he was one of my favourite people in Korner and now he's gone, that I will never know why he's gone, if there was anything that triggered it, if there was anything I could have done if I'd have known at all, and it's all just goddamn fucking unfair.
To be fair, I've only known about this for about 4 hours. I'm still working through my feelings about this. I feel a bit useless because I'm coming to this late, and still don't actually have all the details. I plan to call people later on tonight, so I can get more details, find out what's going on, if the funeral has been planned, etc.
For the time-being there's not a lot I can do except try and work through the grief, and that's what this post is kinda for, I guess.
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Hopefully get to talk to you at the end of the week.
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In the meantime, add me to the list of people sending hugs.
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EDIT: When you have the funeral details can you please pass them on.
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he was a sweetie, i am going to miss him
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What a shock. :(
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He looks so great in this photo from my birthday: http://pics.livejournal.com/nervous_neuron/pic/0009ry32/g45
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funeral details