(no subject)

I'm a horrible person to watch television with.

It's true - ask anyone who's watched TV with me. I jump up, suddenly wanting a quick cuppa, or a stretch outside of the room. I can't sit for 5 minutes to watch a TV show, and if I'm forced to sit, I cover my ears, close my eyes, anything to hide from the action on TV.

For the longest time, the best theory I've been able to come up with was that it was because I don't like social awkwardness. Certainly, it's when the urge is strongest. When two people come into accidental opposition, or some misunderstanding comes up, I hide away, often long before it even comes up. I just have to predict that it's coming, and I get this irresistible urge to run away, to hide. I'm absolutely hopeless at watching sitcoms, especially horrible at American sitcoms - it often seems their primary source of humour is that of social awkwardness, of people making idiots of themselves in public without even knowing it.

But I'm not sure anymore that that's the trigger. Even when it's not sitcoms, even when I should be able to watch something from start to finish, I still hide. I've suddenly been noticing, it's not just the awkward scenes. To be honest, it's almost any tense scene. I just finished watching Torchwood, and it shows up so much - any particularly tense scene, even if it's not awkward, I find it incredibly difficult to watch. not_in_denial made a note that perhaps this is why I don't become a fan of television anymore. How can I get involved in a show if I punch out at every tense scene?

And... I have to ask myself. Why? Why does it take so much effort for me to actually watch anything from start to end?

Maybe it's because tense scenes jerk at the emotions. And maybe I'm so crap at dealing with emotions that I've learned to avoid TV hitting mine.