kirby1024: Kirbinator Icon (half-my face, half-terminator face) (Default)
Last night, my Dad gave me news that I was not really expecting - I was told that my Uncle Michael had been found in his apartment, close to death. He told me that they had revived him, and that he was in intensive care, but he had almost died several times that day, and it didn't look like he was going to wake up, even if they kept him alive. In short, Dad said, it wasn't looking good for him to survive for very much longer.

And this morning, my Mum called me up to let me know that Michael had died during the night.

Today I have been giving myself a day to actually try and process my feelings towards my Uncle Michael, since I know that if I don't do it soon, it's likely to cause problems down the track. I have this trick, that I'm so very good at dodging my mind that I can just not think about issues in my life. But I know that's unhealthy, and I want to talk about this. So, I write this, my tribute to my Uncle Michael and Me.

I've often called my Uncle Michael my "crazy uncle", and I use the term with all the affection in the world. He was a role model of sorts to me in my youth, an academic in academia, incredibly intelligent and well spoken. He was a parapsychologist, one of the few operating in Australia. For most of my memory of him, he was even getting paid as a Visiting Fellow at the University of Adelaide. When I was in high school and when I was in university, I would always keep track of his latest academic developments. In a way, I was something of a fan of his work, and every now and then, he would send me articles that he thought I might find interesting.

My memories of interactions with my uncle are mostly from when I was younger. Early in his career, my Uncle was a Latin scholar, and I recall when I was quite young, my Uncle would try and teach me bits of Latin. At the time, my love of languages had not quite evolved, and I never paid terribly much attention. That said, I still tried my hardest - he was my uncle, and I loved him dearly. I remember a lot of discussions with him on various topics, although my being younger typically meant I was the one learning from him.

Although he was an incredibly intelligent person, that came with it's own side-effects. My parents saw a lot of my uncle in me, including a not terribly brilliant set of social skills. I had a tendency of looking down my nose at people when I talked to people, and didn't realise as a kid that it showed as a sense of superiority. I'm glad for those warnings, I think my ability to interact with people is much better now.

I remember often talking to my friends about my uncle. What my uncle did was incredibly interesting, and was always something we could discuss. There was one conversation in Korner, between me and [ profile] shemjaza, about how, if I'd been around in the 1920s, I'd so be a Pulp action character, with my famous Uncle into weird phenomena, me the linguist in training, and him being funded by the Bial Foundation, which sounded so very much like some shadowy organisation for good. I'd be swept away from my university lifestyle to accompany my uncle on daring adventures!

My feelings about my Uncle's death are... mixed, as you'd expect after just a day of being told. Above all, I miss him so. I haven't seen a great deal of him in the past couple of years, but the fact that he was around was always in my head. A relative that I had so much time and interaction with, someone who has been around my entire life is gone, and I think I'm still trying to adjust my view to that. I feel so terribly sad for him, and for my Grandpa and Grandma, who now have the task of burying their son, something which I can only imagine the pain and sorrow of. I worry about my uncles and my Dad, all of whom have lost a brother.

And I think of all the interactions that were yet to come, that I thought I had all the time in the world to go through. He had just recently joined Facebook, and I never got to see how he would use it. I wanted so badly for him to meet [personal profile] erinkyan, who also wanted to see him so very much. I wanted to see him one last time, although maybe that one is just because I feel robbed of an opportunity to say goodbye to him. Of all the things that I'm writing here, that's the feeling that makes me cry - the last time I said goodbye to him was two years ago. I'm such a different person now than I was two years ago, that I feel that he's lost the chance to see me as I am now. I think he would be proud, at the very least happy, to see the kind of person I have become, and I hate that I no longer have the opportunity to show him that.

Rest in Peace, Uncle Michael, You have lived a great life, with a family that loved you, so much, and you are missed, so very, very much.
kirby1024: Kirby taking a ride on a star. (Kirby Wheee!!!)
So, last night I went out with friends and family for a big birthday celebration in the city. After I'd finished work, I drove over to the other side off the city to have dinner at Yak bar. It's a very funky little bar/restaurant with some awesome food, and it was wonderful to be see everyone and have some time to catch up. I especially recommend the Tapas menu, the halloumi and the chorizo especially are top-notch! For Desert, we had [personal profile] erinkyan's delicious, delicious cupcakes, and yes, they were seriously awesome.

After that, we went and met up with the rest of the night's party (16 of us in all! Never have I had in my hand so many tickets!) and saw Tripod vs The Dragon at the Forum. Firstly, I echo the sentiments of a couple of other people - It was fantastic to actually be able to go inside the Forum and look around the place. I've been past the place so many times, I'd always been curious as to the inside of the place, and it's a beautiful venue. Secondly, I loved the show, the gags were wonderful and insightful, the use of the overhead projector was really, really fun, and frankly, most of the way through the show I was thinking "You know, I've been in roleplaying games like this. Except this one is really fun to watch!"

About the only thing in the show that let it down a little was the songs - I was bored through a few of them, and I don't think many of the songs were up to Tripod's usual humorous fare. I do not, however, lump Elana Stone's songs into that assessment, because even though they were typically serious songs, I don't think you could be bored when Elana Stone sings. She is fucking awesome. Also, she looks for all the world like [ profile] happypea. Seriously. Especially in that red dress. I ended up going to the merch stand and grabbing me the CDs, because I think I found new awesome music here.

Despite that, I strongly recommend the show to everyone - geek or otherwise, as the show is extremely accessible, and then gets better if you've ever roleplayed with dice. Also, I recommend viewing their Official webpage at the moment, mostly because they've D&D-ified the place and it's kinda fun to catch all the jokes in there!

After that, a group of us headed down to 1806 on Exhibition st, and I think most people know that it's one of my favourite cocktail bars in the city, with the best menu I've ever seen. We got to sit and chat, and I enjoyed a very delicious Mitch Martini, while the rest of the group enjoyed their own delicious cocktails. All up, it was a wonderful night, and I'd like to thank everyone who turned up for whatever part of it they turned up for, It's definitely the best birthday celebration I've had for quite some time!

In other news, it's my actual birthday today. 26 years of consecutive life! Hooray!
kirby1024: Neon outline of Kirby on black (Kirby Neon)
Thanks to a change in my work schedule, I now have Mondays off, which is fantastic because I have been sick since Thursday, and I get extra time off without sacrificing money. After driving home this morning from [personal profile] erinkyan's place, I thought that a good idea would be to actually start all that filing that I've not really got around to since I moved in, so I could declutter a bit.

This is a bit rambly.

I'd forgotten how much stuff I keep randomly locked away in my filing box. Encountered quite a few surprises, both good and bad. I found all my old SECASA stuff (which I'm keeping - who knows when that's going to be useful again), and I found old momentos from years past (one of which was a letter that [personal profile] erinkyan wrote for me while he was sitting in a cafe). And paper. So very many pieces of paper, a lot I need to keep, but a lot I ended up throwing out. It's actually kinda empowering - there's about half a moving box full of paper that I kept for one reason or another but I no longer need at all.

A long time ago, I made a conscious decision not to live in the past. I'm not the kind of person that keeps a lot of physical artifacts of history - the clutter that they create never seems worth the memories. I wonder if part of it is because my past hurts a lot. There's a lot of terrible things that have happened, and I've done a lot of stuff that I'm not proud of at all, and I guess that the safest thing I can do is isolate myself a little from it. Move forward, don't dwell on what I was, and instead aspire to be someone better.

But my past still has sway in who I am, I can't actually run away from it entirely. Going through my history, even if it's in old receipts, bits and pieces of con games I've run, letters from lovers and tickets to events, just made me go through a whole bunch of that history, and I'm feeling a little fragile from it right now. I'm glad I did it, if only because it gave me a chance to organise it a little better, so maybe next time I won't end up shocking myself with old memories when I need to find an old bank statement.

But it hurts. I can't wait for the day when the traumas become distant enough that I can look back on them safely, because apparently it hasn't come yet.

Moving On

Jan. 1st, 2010 07:32 pm
kirby1024: Kirby and Metaknight in a samurai duel (Kirby Duel)
I'm a bit inconsistent when it comes to New Years posts. Sometimes I do it, sometimes I don't, and a lot of the time it's to cap off a not particularly decent year, and hope for a better one the next year. I'm a big believer in hope.

I'm not going to do a big wrap-up post this year. This year has been great one, with both highlights and lowlights, and I feel genuinely pleased with the direction of my life, but I really cannot be bothered dredging up all the highlights and displaying them to everyone.

I do, however, want to put out there the directions I'm planning for my life to go this coming year.

Firstly, I came up with a New Year's resolution, a few minutes before midnight, that struck me as one that I definitely want to work on. This last year I have been feeling rather isolated, as I've been working full-time, and now moved out to the opposite side of the city, but I recognize that I haven't been putting a lot of effort into keeping up with friends either, so I intend to rectify that this year. This year, my New Year's resolution is to get back in touch with those friends I've left behind the last year or so. I plan to work hard at arranging to go out and do shit, and to take friends with me to do things with, rather than waiting for opportune moments to see others. I have a lot of really cool and brilliant friends that I've dropped out of contact with, I think now is the time to get back in touch with people.

Secondly, I plan for a new direction is to get my finances back in order. I plan on aggressively attacking my debt this year, because once I have less debt, I'll have so much more freedom in my life to do the things I want.

Thirdly, I want to keep the good times rolling with my [personal profile] erinkyan. I've grown so much closer to him this year, and, and I plan for this not to change. It's a good, positive thing in my life, and I plan on keeping it that way!

To anyone I may have missed with my scads of texts and messages to all my friends and family - I hope every one of you has a wonderful new year, full of whatever you need and whatever you desire. Let this year be the Year of Awesomeness!

Woo! Meme!

Dec. 31st, 2009 08:14 am
kirby1024: Kirbinator Icon (half-my face, half-terminator face) (Default)
Been ages since I did one of these! Found from a couple of people in my lists:

If you had me alone, locked up in your house for twenty-four hours and I had to do whatever you wanted me to, what would you have me do?

All comments will be permanently screened because it's a secret. Then, repost this in your LJ/DW. You might be surprised with the responses you get.

If you're reading this from one of my syndicated sources (like Facebook), make sure you click through to comment - otherwise your secret will be out! If you're reading this from LJ, go ahead and comment - it's fine on LJ
kirby1024: Powerful Kirby Icon (Kirby Spark)
So, the last couple of posts have been me discussing how I don't really want to go back to uni, and how I'm really loving my job right now.

I am now firmly convinced that these events are related, although possibly at one remove.

See, for the last year or two, I've been working hard at reducing my debt, and the reason I've been working hard at this is because I had plans to go back to uni, and to do so I'd have to accept a drop in income, which I can't support at my level of debt. For the last year or two, I've also been generally unhappy with life. That goal always seemed to be creeping ever further away, as I started getting more and more debt. This got even worse when I lost my job earlier in the year - all that money, that I could put towards debt, but it all went away as I had to support myself without a job.

But, a few weeks ago, I went and took a look at that goal, of going to university, and I made a decision - that I was no longer going to pursue that goal.

That decision had a whole bunch of knock-on effects.

Firstly, The nature of my new job changed. I took the job, not because I was really interested in working for a bank, but because I knew I could do the job, and it'd help me pay off my debt. The job, in short, was purely a means to an end, one that wasn't really in sight. How could I like a job when I framed it like that? But when I dropped the uni goal, I stopped thinking about the job as a means to an end, and started looking at the job as the end itself. If I wasn't going to uni, what did this job mean? As I worked on the phones, it dawned on me that actually, one thing I really did love was helping people. And that's what this job really helped me do. On nearly every call I took, I could make an actual difference to that person's life, even if it was just a statement of a balance, or just answering a question about an unknown transaction. When I looked around at my job, I came to the realisation that I actually love my job, immensely so.

But I don't think I would have reached that level of thinking if I'd still stuck to my old goal of going back to uni. Me being happy in my job was purely because of a perspective change.

Interesting, that.
kirby1024: Cute Kirby Icon, in crayon (Kirby Crayon)
So, it's been a while since I've posted anything here, mostly because most of my update thingies are going to Twitter, and my other writing outlets are sucking all the rest of my writing brain. But I figure I'd give those not on the Twitter/Facebook bandwagon a chance to catch up on my life.

Firstly, my new job is going quite well - I've since moved out of the Identification team, and have been moved into Servicing (basic account services), and I quite frankly love it. It's been a really long time since I've loved my job as much as I do now, and honestly it's a little hard to get used to. I'm used to my job just being a neutral part of my day, now my job honestly makes me feel good. I love going into work, I enjoy every call I take, I feel the need to dance anytime there's hold music... There aren't a great deal of negatives in my job right now. I'm starting to remember, slowly but surely, what attracted me to Customer Service in the first place - the opportunity to help people. And I get to do that all the time at my job, with nothing to stop me. It's really great!

But it's still weird to actually be enjoying my job. I know I should just get over it, but it still feels weird!

Secondly, I have been officially collared! This happened last weekend! I may discuss more about this on the sex filter (or, I may not. I haven't decided yet).

Thirdly, I need to do a whole bunch more chores around the house. My Chore Wars character is falling quite behind, and this must be rectified!

Fourthly, I am madly in love with [personal profile] erinkyan. Really!

Fifthly, This weekend I will be going to some workshops run by [ profile] passionandsoul, which I am seriously looking forward to. One is about hypnosis and other mind play in BDSM, the other one is on rituals in BDSM, both topics I am looking quite forward to hearing about.

Sixthly, I have not seen people for such a long time, and I want to apologise for that. Getting settled into new job has taken a bit more time than I'd anticipated. I plan to make a promise to keep in touch more with my friends, since I know I've been neglecting that somewhat the last few months. I'll admit the whole being on the other side of the city, combined with full-time work, is making that a bit difficult, but that's no excuse for not trying! If you haven't seen me in a while and hope to do so, give me a buzz, I'll see if I can fit something around my schedule!

Seventhly, I have a four-player Connect 4 game right behind me, and I really want to try it out. Who's game? (this may or may not be connected to the previous item!)

I think that will be all for this update.
kirby1024: Neon outline of Kirby on black (Kirby Neon)
For the last decade at least, I have been moving towards one goal in life - to become an academic. It was something I decided on when I realised how much I loved university, and how much I loved studying and learning. Almost every action in my life has basically been about how this will help me get to this goal in my life. A lot of the frustration and unhappiness in my life has been when this goal has become unclear to me - when the obstacles have seemed too great, or when something has required me to change my plans.

But I've been wondering recently. The person who made that choice, the me that made that goal, that was a long time ago - almost 8 years ago, in fact. As one might expect, 8 years will do a lot to a person. Hell, just the past 4 years have changed me, to someone I'm not sure the me from 8 years ago would recognise. And I've been looking at that goal, wondering: Is that the goal that I really want now? I do want to learn, I do want to study. These are things that I still want to do, and still drive my passions. But am I cut out for academia? Academia is a lot more than studying and learning - it's an entire culture and way of life, and can be a very cut-throat world, full of competition for time and funding.

When I was in uni, as a student, it was all very simple - I loved uni, I loved the people there, and I had no real plans to leave and do anything else. I'd found my home, and it was a great home. Now that I've been gone a while though, I've been occasionally looking back, looking at that culture from where I am now, and I can't say that it inspires me terribly now. I'm just not sure that what I want to do is worth everything that I'm going to have to put up with to do it.

The question afterwards, of course, becomes what do I do now, and I'm not really sure on that one just yet. I've focused on the one goal for so long that I never even looked at everything else that I could be doing. I'm fairly certain I don't want to be a real perpetual uni student (I'm not even sure that's sustainable these days), and I know that I'm not terribly interested in being a Call Centre monkey forever either. Some things are pretty constant regardless of what I decide to aim for (for example, paying off debt is going to be prereq for most things that require a big change in income), so it doesn't change the current course of my life too much. But past the short term, I'm just not sure what's next for me, and I can't help but worry about that somewhat, even though worrying doesn't seem to be coming up with any answers. I'm not sure I want to drift from goal to goal, never having a real clue of where I'm going to end up.

It's just a big question mark in my life, and it's only confronting because I'd never realised how big that was, and how fragile what was covering it was, before I started questioning it. And to answer it, I have to do that thing that I'm not so great at doing, which is actually knowing myself enough to have a goal I want to work towards.

It's at times like these I really wish I had a better handle on myself. Then again, maybe I have a better handle on myself than I thought if I'm in this quandry...
kirby1024: Powerful Kirby Icon (Kirby Spark)
For those not on Twitter or Facebook...


I start in a couple of weeks, which means I'm still going to have to live quite frugally for a little while longer, but I'm working for the NAB at their King St call centre (which is absolutely fantastically awesome, so much better than UCMS!). I'll be getting a payrise over my previous job, and not only that, but the place is entirely supportive, there's no hot-swapping (so I get my own desk!), and there's good prospects for upward mobility should I decide that I don't actually want to go back to uni. I'm working for a god damn bank!

I'm feeling so utterly overjoyed, and really relieved. I was not looking forward to more job-hunting. It's nerve-wracking and really down-heartening, especially when you're getting interviews and just not being able to convert them into jobs.

I should have realised that I'd get this job - I was sick with nervousness going into the final interview, which just showed I was taking it seriously, I guess.

Also, with all the job assessments I went through, I've learnt many interesting things about myself:

1) My typing speed is 65 words a minute. Much higher than my previous assessment 5 years ago!
2) I apparently have a high attention to detail. I got, like, 95% on the test. We're fairly certain this is with the caveat "As long as I'm paying attention", but it's all good.
3) I hate being unemployed. I start unravelling at the seams without some sort of schedule in my life.
4) I love [personal profile] erinkyan a whole bunch.
kirby1024: Neon outline of Kirby on black (Kirby Neon)
So, I'm still looking for players for the Lexicon I was talking about previously. If anyone's kinda looking at it, going "It seems fun, but I'd never be able to do that", I'll happily point out that the game is not supposed to be anything to do with building a masterpiece - it's about getting your writing gear out there and writing! It's a chance to be inspired by everyone else, and bounce of everyone else's ideas, which is a whole lot more fun than you'd think!

Even if you're looking at the schedule and going "But I was gonna do NaNoWriMo this year", think of it as a pleasant writing-based procrastination that has a limited timespan (you're only writing once a week!)

If you have looked and decided "Sorry it's not for me", that's cool, and I apologise for the spamming. I won't try to persuade you guys, and you can just ignore any other Lexicon posts from me.

Also, you know, if you know anyone else who might be interested, or any groups that might have people who'd be interested in playing, I'm happy to let you plug my game to them (or you can tell me, and I'll plug it to them). Really. I don't mind at all! Please?
kirby1024: Kirbinator Icon (half-my face, half-terminator face) (Default)
Nerd Assertiveness and Insensitivity to Privilege (from [personal profile] erinkyan's Google Reader, from Sociological Images, which everyone needs to read, seriously. Awesome blog.)

In other news, I am getting so very, very bored of this whole unemployment thing. It's starting to really get to me. I've been actively looking for work for the last month, and while I'm getting interviews, I'm not getting anywhere. I've only now started the process of getting Centrelink payments, because I was so certain that I would be able to get another job by now. But things are slowly crawling away from me. I'm running out of money, and thus running out of time, and I just really wish I could find a job somewhere, but the world is rather rudely pointing out how lucky I was the last few jobs I got. It's not like I'm not qualified for the jobs I keep applying for, but I'm just not getting a lot of bites.

Still, not much I can do but keep looking, I s'pose. Unless anyone has any better suggestions, anyway.
kirby1024: Kirbinator Icon (half-my face, half-terminator face) (Default)
So, previously I made a statement that I wanted to keep prompting myself to write creatively, and so, I decided to start a game of Lexicon.

It's been some time since the last Lexicon game, and I admit, part of that was slackness.
But I loved the last game - writing is so much more fun when you can bounce off everyone else. But! I have now actually sat down for an afternoon and managed to come up with a decent new prompt that will hopefully be a little more accessible this time (so those who interested last time but didn't feel confident messing with history should feel a bit more comfortable this time). This time, it's the Unicode Gamma Lexicon!. The Prompt?

In the early 1990s, a brand new television show premiered. Unicode Gamma was a great foray into the television market, and was sent internationally on a brave mission to earn it's creators money. Alas, Unicode Gamma was a television show of it's time, a show with no real attempt to connect to a general audience, and thus, lasted only a season. That didn't deter the fans (as it never does), and a thriving community of Unicode Gamma fans continue to watch and enjoy this real slice of early 90s television.

And now, after over 15 years of living in obscurity, it's fans derided by others, and the fan community warped and twisted by years of disappointment and drama, the very first GammaCon has been organised and unleashed, and a (depressingly small) group of fans have come together to remember and reminisce about a show that only they care about.

Apart from a name, and a fanbase, We know absolutely nothing about this show, so, it could end up being about just about anything.

If anyone's interested in joining up for a game of Lexicon, you just need to put your name down on the player's list here, and then get your first entry (starting with A, B or C) written and submitted by the 10/10/2009 (though I'll accept entries up to the 13th). Also, I'd prefer that you contact me (through whatever medium you can) so I have a few forms of contact so I can remind people about turns and such. You don't need to write much, just 100 words a week is the minimum.

Come on! You know it'll be fun! :)
kirby1024: Kirby taking a ride on a star. (Kirby Wheee!!!)
I have mentioned to a couple of people that one resource that I always felt was missing in the blogosphere was a blog about men and masculinities, written by men, from a feminist viewpoint. It turns out that there was one all along, and that I had just never seen it.

XY Online (RSS)

It's actually astonishingly close to what I'd call my "perfect resource" - full of resources about masculinity and men all around the world, from worldwide perspectives... this one's definitely going on my google reader. It's apparently looking for submissions from people, as it's recently had a reboot. I am very tempted to contribute, but then I'd have to actually write something of contributable quality on the subject matter!

I do know a few people on my flist who, I'm sure, would be interested in the resource ([personal profile] radicalyffe, I'm looking at you!), and I'd strongly recommend anyone who is curious have a look - it's quite good!
kirby1024: Powerful Kirby Icon (Kirby Spark)
In the event that there's anyone on my friends list that wants to have a go on Dreamwidth, I hereby let it be known that I have 5 invite codes currently outstanding.

As per usual, If I don't know you, you can feel free to ask, but people I do know get first dibs, followed by people who know people I know (so if you don't need a code, but know someone who does, send them my way!). Comment here and I will get the invite code to you in any way I know how! :)
kirby1024: Kirbinator Icon (half-my face, half-terminator face) (Default)
I was going to write a post about the rest of the road trip, but to be honest I'm not feeling it anymore. Instead, my head wants to write something else much more urgently. This is going to be a bit rambly, because there's a lot of thoughts in my head related to the subject. I'll try to order it when I'm done but I can't guarantee that it'll all make sense.

Cut for rape triggers )


Aug. 30th, 2009 11:06 pm
kirby1024: Neon outline of Kirby on black (Kirby Neon)
So, today me and [ profile] not_in_denial started our awesome road trip so that [ profile] not_in_denial can do his coming of age rituals. It would have happened in a week or two anyway, but with no job we ended up fast-tracking the trip a little!

I'd like to say that there's been some awesome roadtrippy goodness, but alas, the trip has been mostly uneventful. We didn't stop at many places (the only town we really entered at all was Albury), and mostly just stuck to the Hume, which meant we got from Melbourne to Goulburn in about 9 hours, which is a pretty phenomenal pace. I'm surprised that I'm not terribly tired right now, actually - I feel a little tired, but only about as tired as I would normally be at 11pm.

Also traveling with us is Minnie, [ profile] not_in_denial's new girl. I actually specifically asked for her to come down with us, because I haven't had a lot of opportunities to spend a lot of time with her, and I'd like to get a little closer to my boy's girl (I seem to be a freak in that I have absolutely no jealousy towards her - compersion, I has it). The trip down hasn't given us a lot of time to talk, seeing as I was driving all of the way down, but I'm hoping that we'll have more chances to chat tomorrow. She's a really cute, sweet girl, and am thoroughly convinced that [ profile] not_in_denial should keep her. :)

One thing I have noticed is that we seem to have almost identical iPod lists, from listening to her iPod on the way down, I seem to have a very large number of her tracks, which apparently means that I have the music taste of a teenage girl. I think I'm cool with this.

So tomorrow I pick up [personal profile] radicalyffe so we can take him back down to Melbourne with us, and then... Um... Not sure, really. I'm sure we'll find something to do in Goulburn. Surely there's something to do in this town. May have to go to the Kmart here and pick up a deck of cards or something...

Anyway, time to let someone else hog the broadband connection here! Later all!
kirby1024: Powerful Kirby Icon (Kirby Spark)
I was going to write a big entry discussing exactly how my day went, but I think it's probably much easier to keep it simple.

Today, I was made redundant.

A HR rep came to my resource centre, asked me to come with him. We went upstairs, without really chatting. When I got upstairs into the meeting room, I saw my Manager, Ganesh, waiting there. And there, they told me that there had been a review of the company, and my job had, unfortunately, been made redundant.

I asked whether I was to leave by the end of the day. In fact, they wanted me out there and then. So, I went downstairs, escorted by the HR rep. I said goodbye to my lunchtime relief, Divya, and gathered my things. As it turns out, I keep a very spartan office, so it didn't take more than a few minutes. I gathered everything, gave some last instructions to Divya, and departed.

As you might expect there has been some mixed feelings on the matter. I'm not entirely sure it's all hit me, really. I mean, I'm still sorta expecting to get up tomorrow and go to work. But I'm not. And that, I think, is the worst part of it all - the fact that the whole process took ten minutes. From everything as normal, to out of the building, it was all done in ten minutes. No chance to say goodbye to any of the teachers or students, no nothing. So sudden. No chance to even get used to the idea that tomorrow I have a free day. It's all just... gone.

I've been mostly dwelling on the positives today, although I can feel the shock beneath it all. I get a quite decent redundancy pay for only being there a year or so. I'll have enough money to last me through at least a month or so, so it's not urgent for me to start looking for work yet. And it's not like I was overly fond of the job - I was actually going to start looking for work, so this has just accelerated that a little. To be honest, while I've enjoyed the very slack job I had, it's been a year. I was definitely in a rut, and there was no real option of advancement at Carrick. It was comfortable, but limiting in the end.

And they could not have picked a better time to throw me out. I've just gotten out of my very expensive apartment into a sharehouse, with reduced bills and reduced rent. So that redundancy pay could last me even a bit longer if I so chose. And if I get a job sooner, that just means I have more money to pay off debts. And now I don't have to worry about getting that time off I wanted in a few weeks - I already have it!

But the positives still don't help with the shock, and the abruptness. 10 minutes from normal to out of the building for good. How do you deal with that? I don't think you can, not quickly.

It'll pass, I'm sure, and I'll get another job. If nothing else, I can go back to the call centres and work there again, no sweat. But not today. Not this week. I have time, there's no panic, I can let it lie.

10 minutes. 10 minutes.
kirby1024: Kirby taking a ride on a star. (Kirby Wheee!!!)
It wasn't anything [personal profile] erinkyan said, oh no. It was more along the lines that his LJ had pointed out that I'd finished moving before mine did. It's a little embarrassing, let's be fair. Time to catch up at least a little bit. This is a bit rambly, so bear with me.

So! I've moved! The moving went reasonably smoothly, although it's only really finished last weekend when [ profile] laza_burns dropped off the last bits and pieces. We're now slowly getting around to getting things out of boxes, and getting boxes out of the way.

We did have some slight issues when we got there, when we realised that the back door didn't lock, so we've spent a good week and a bit at the house without doors that can distinguish between resident and intruder. Thankfully, that was fixed yesterday, so our many pieces of stuff are well and truly safe. We also have a key for [ profile] alissakalisti, so when she moves in on Friday she will also have doors that distinguish between resident and intruder!

I've been slowly starting to explore my way around the area, and I'm slowly dawning as to why everyone said "lots of good food" as the first thing they mention about Footscray - my god there are a lot of extremely cheap eats that way! And good cheap eats too! It's all delicious and I certainly plan to nom my way through Footscray's many restaurants in good time. I may well have to invite friends to nom with me!

In other news, last weekend me and [personal profile] erinkyan spent a really good, nice weekend together. We'd started on Thursday with our weekly date, stayed around and enjoyed each other's company on Friday and did some Serious Talks about our relationship and stuff, Went out for a drive to Sunshine on Saturday (Why? Why not? Part of our explorings of the surrounds!), then went out to Chains at the night where we did some really intense play, then on Sunday we went to the Chocolate Rush Festival at the Showgrounds, where we partook in chocolate and I bought yummy spices. By the end of the weekend I was really reticent to leave him - it was one of those weekends where you can clearly and honestly say that there was quality time spent, and admittedly we'd not had such an intense weekend in quite a while. It was a wonderful thing to have my relationship batteries recharged in such a way, and now I miss my [personal profile] erinkyan greatly and can't wait until next Thursday to see him again!

Monday I also got a brief opportunity to say hi to my Uncle Bryan, when he took me to lunch down at Crown before his flight to Adelaide. It was actually really nice to sit down and chat with my Uncle without having the parents around (it's not that they interfere or anything, but when I'm at relative's places with my parents it's still kinda hard to break out of the family unit, so I don't tend to engage as actively). We chatted about all manner of things, like theatre, Twitter and Facebook, how our respective workplaces were going, how the politics in Adelaide and Melbourne seem to be very similar (and yet how things seem to happen in Melbourne, and not in Adelaide), etc. etc.

I don't get a lot of moments like that with my Uncle (unfortunately), and I wish I had more of them these days. He's not just a link to my family back home, he's pretty much my first knowledge of queerness. I've never exactly thought of him as a role-model, but I have to admit, if he wasn't in my family I think I'd've had a lot more issues with sexuality than I do. My uncle, just by living his life, and not really that closely to me, showed me that there was nothing wrong with loving men, and it's taken me a while to really understand how fundamental that was to me. So, since I know you're reading Uncle Bryan, thankyou. Thankyou for being you, because you let me be me.
kirby1024: Kirby taking a ride on a star. (Kirby Wheee!!!)
So, a couple of things to my loyal readership - as it turns out, it wasn't the St Kilda East Property we'd gotten, but a property in West Footscray. Which I'm not complaining about at all, seeing as it's a house, and a house that's about similar distance away from work, for exactly the same price. The reason for why I got confused is a funny one, and mostly revolves around confirmation bias and my noted tendency to miss vital parts of conversations and why you really do need to make sure about the confirmation questions you ask.

So, the day of the Keys is this Saturday, so lots of things need doing. Among the list:

  • Actually Sign Lease and Give 1st month's rent.

  • Arrange the Water connection.

  • Arrange the Gas & Power connection.

  • Arrange the Phone and Internet connection.

  • Call Man with a Van to arrange a Moving Van.

  • Acquire further boxes for moving.

  • Change Addresses with everyone.

  • Set up a mail redirect for the inevitable one or two important groups I'll miss.

  • Press-gang Invite friends over to help with packing.

  • Check with [ profile] alissakalisti as to whether she's coming over for moving day or not, and Press-gang Invite her to help move/pack if she is.

  • Arrange Carpet Cleaners.

  • Decide whether I'm doing big clean-up, or whether I'm hiring professional cleaners for the purpose.

  • Act on above decision.


kirby1024: Kirbinator Icon (half-my face, half-terminator face) (Default)

January 2011

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